Just Because You Köln, Doesn’t Mean You Should

A common interaction has become a variation on the following: 

John:  “Mommy, do you think this penny will fit in my ear?”  

Jess:  “No, I don’t think that’s a very good idea.” 

John:  “I think I can stick it in there.”  

Jess:  “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

Today we went to Köln (also known as Cologne in America, for their invention of extraordinarily overpriced scented oils in small bottles) and this theme was reinforced in so many ways.

Coming out of the parking garage, the cathedral is striking, far more impressive than any cathedral we’ve seen so far. 

Kölner Dom

On the side of the cathedral, there’s a fountain where John wanted to drink the water.  He was sure that you can.  We were sure that doesn’t mean you should.  We saw a little girl drink the water from a different fountain, clearly marked “Not potable water.”  We were both right - yes, you can drink the water but that doesn’t mean you should.

Do not drink the water in this fountain

Also, we found out that you can paint your skin gold, dress in a gold costume with a clock around your neck and pretend to be a robot for money in the square outside the cathedral.  But that’s not a good way to make a living because it takes a lot of coins to be able to eat.  Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

We also saw college students getting drunk and singing songs.  Young German men have not yet had enough bratwurst and beer to have pot bellies, and they must use the remaining Trabants for their weightlifting.  When they get drunk, they are loud and intimidating.  They also drive around in buses and find great humor in mooning everyone.  We had the privelege of being stuck at a red light with one such party bus.  He thought it was funny for a good 2 minutes, making it near impossible to keep the kids distracted and looking at other things.  Just because you can hang your naked rear end out of a window in front of old ladies and children just trying to walk down the street, doesn’t mean you should.  

Just because you can be a man and dress up like a woman and prance up next to the urinal next to Doug, a urinal that cost 50 cents to use no less, most certainly does not mean you should.

Oh, Köln, I’m sure glad we didn’t stick around to see how much fun you become after dark.